Empathy: How it's Being Used Against Us and How it Will Actually Save Us

In this heartfelt episode, we dive deep into empathy—a cornerstone of authentic spiritual living. 🌿

Some recent voices have questioned the value of empathy, calling it a weakness or even a sin. But empathy, as taught by spiritual masters like Jesus and Buddha, is vital to understanding, healing, and connection.

Topics covered:
✅ What empathy is and why it matters
✅ The difference between empathy and sympathy
✅ How empathy strengthens relationships and collective consciousness
✅ Simple ways to cultivate empathy in daily life

This episode is perfect for anyone navigating deconstructing faith, emotional healing, or seeking authentic living. Let’s explore how empathy connects us to the divine within and amplifies the light around us. 🌟

👉 Follow me on socials @AuthenticallyMeli for more insights on empathy, spirituality, and living authentically.

Transcript

1:14

(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Aloha everybody, welcome back to the pod. I'm so happy to have you here with me. If you've been on this journey with me for a while, then you know one of the major themes here is questioning traditional church doctrines while seeking an authentic connection with ourselves, the divine within ourselves, and in each other. Today I want to dive into something that's very close to the heart of myself as well as other spiritual leaders, Jesus included, and that is empathy. In light of recent discussions where certain church leaders have discouraged empathy, even calling it a sin, I find it both ironic and distressing. After all, empathy is one of the cornerstones of true spiritual living. Jesus, Buddha, so many of our spiritual masters, our ascended masters, have taught us to love your neighbors as yourself, and you can't do that without empathy. So let's talk about what empathy is, why it matters, and how it connects us to the God or source that is within and around us. So some branches of the church, or at least some voices within them, are now framing empathy as misguided or even harmful, which is more backing a political agenda than it is actually teaching or helping anyone. We've heard claims that empathy can lead people astray, that it causes emotional burnout, or that it'll blur moral boundaries, and this message to me sounds completely contrary to the example that Jesus set, and again our other ascended masters. Jesus not only preached love, he showed it through his actions, like healing the sick, welcoming the marginalized, and sharing genuine compassion for those in need. In fact, in the parables, like stories, he was surrounded by the marginalized. That's who he spent his time with, and not as a means to fix them, but as a means to identify with, to connect with, and to uplift those who need it the most. And it is sharing a genuine compassion for those who are in need. Empathy, it's about understanding each other's feelings, and to truly walk in someone else's shoes. And it's what opens up the heart, so that love can flow freely between us, rather than simply just being a concept that we talk about. And I did recently make a YouTube video about being an empath, and how it can be our superpower. So I encourage you to go check that out. I've really been focusing a lot on my YouTube channel. The videos there are a bit shorter than these, although I do post the video versions of this podcast on there. But there's like, you know, some 10 to 20 minute videos with other insight outside of the religion aspect, just about authentic living, and finding your way back to yourself. So you can check that out at Diary of an Authentic Life. If you haven't yet, just please go ahead and subscribe. Sign up for the notifications, all the good things, and then you won't miss anything that's happening around here. I know that I have not been as weekly on this podcast, and don't worry, I haven't gone anywhere. I've just really been focusing on what's feeling the most inspired, and that's where my attention has been going. I've been creating a lot of different mindfulness practices and meditations. With each video, I try to follow it with a meditation, usually five to ten minutes. Something easy to help you drop in and integrate what we've been talking about. But back to empathy. If a faith tradition is discouraging empathy, then we risk losing that profound sense of connection that underpins spiritual growth. Like, we might end up following rules rather than fostering understanding and genuine care for our fellow human beings, and that's something that we see happening in the school system, in the medical system, in our government in general. It's like more about following a quid pro quo than actually identifying with each person on a case-by-case basis. So empathy, it's more than just sympathy. Sympathy can be like a surface level pity for someone else's pain, but empathy, it means that we're experiencing or striving to experience the situation from their perspective. It's a true like meeting of hearts and minds. And one way to practice this is just to kind of like imagine, to check in with yourself and your own feelings. And like, if I were in this scenario, if I were in their shoes, if I were experiencing this, how would I feel about that? So even when that person is opposing our own views, it can feel like you want to be argumentative or defensive. It is so much more powerful and profound and connecting to try to see from that person's perspective. And it doesn't mean that that person's perspective should supersede your own, but it's good, you know, working with this, exercising this muscle helps us find a balance. Now I am suspicious that if you are here on this podcast, you already experience a great deal of empathy, but for those who may need it, I'm just going to be as clear as possible in this conversation. But when you authentically empathize, you tap into that universal thread of linking all the souls, right? So some call it the source, some call it the God within, but it's that sense of unity that transcends what divides us. And you know, in the end, we are more alike than we are different. And in practicing empathy, you begin to see that we're not isolated individuals. We share a collective consciousness and a universal heartbeat. So ways to cultivate that is, you know, presence and active listening. Instead of thinking about what you'll say next, give your full attention to the person speaking. Just that simple shift can shape everything. And again, checking again, what would I feel like in this situation? So instead of blowing up and this person feels differently than me and disagrees with me, they're wrong. Let me show them how wrong they are, trying to seek to understand where they're coming from. And this, you know, could really be coming up a lot, especially in our political climate and in these conversations about deconstructing and religion to really just try to understand, you know, like I could easily demonize those in the church and the leaders that taught me these destructive beliefs. But it's much more healthy and healing to understand where they're coming from. And remember that I was once coming from that place too. That I genuinely believed that I was saving their soul. That this is what God wanted. And a lot of these leaders who are teaching these things, they're indoctrinated as well. And I'm not making excuses by any means that that's not what it's about, but it's understanding that just because someone, maybe their actions are harmful, it doesn't mean that they, that's their intention. And yes, of course the road to hell is paved with good intentions, right? But just seeking to understand where a person may be coming from. You know, we can get into like our parents and the traumas that they've caused, especially if we grew up in this evangelical system, but also understanding like their trauma and where they were coming from and knowing that it doesn't mean that they're bad or horrible or whatever. It just means that they were coming from this wounded place and that has affected us negatively. So that helps us to like build our bond with each other or connection with each other and just understanding where people are coming from. It's not always so black and white. Like we all have the two wolves, right? The, the wolf of grief and I mean, greed and jealousy and lack and control. And we have the, the wolf of love and connection and empathy and encouragement, you know, all of these good traits. We, we all have two wolves and we get to choose which one we're going to feed. But understanding that like, just because someone does an action that doesn't feel empathetic or, you know, doesn't feel like what we would do, or someone has a belief that we don't agree with, it doesn't mean that they're bad or terrible. It just, you know, means that they're coming from a different place from within. You know, so I think again, in conversations, instead of proving to someone how wrong they are, like asking how they feel about it, asking where they're coming from, instead of offering like judgments on that, like let them be heard. And you, again, you don't have to agree with them, but you're going to find more peace in seeking to understand rather than seeking to prove wrong. And we all share like joys and fears and pain and hope and remembering that keeps us from dehumanizing one another. Like someone may have views that feel or seem ridiculous to me. It seems ridiculous that there are actual church leaders preaching that empathy is a sin. Like that's absolutely insane. And that definitely comes from a place of control and trying to control the narrative and the politics or whatever. I can also see that, you know, these people have been raised with this belief that they are superior and that they are in a place to control and that that is their objective. That's what they're here for or whatever it is that put them in that place. That doesn't forgive it. It doesn't justify it. It just helps us to remember that they are also human and hurt people hurt people. That doesn't mean that we accept the abuse, but just understanding and remembering that we are all human and we are all living our own human experience. That we all have our reasons for why we see and feel the way that we do. Again, it doesn't mean that you need to agree with them, but just understanding that we have this shared humanity. And again, we are more alike than we are different. We all have hopes and dreams. We all have things that we are trying to create in our lives. There, you know, even these people who seem like they don't possess the ability to, you know, they have people that they love. They have things that they feel obligated to. They have expectations that they feel from society and from others. I feel like just keeping in mind that understanding that just because we don't know where someone's coming from or we don't feel the same way, it doesn't make them less of a human being. And reaching in and empathizing and reaching in and connecting with that divine within someone is going to help amplify that light. And scolding and turning away and, you know, dismissing without seeking to understand is only going to dim that light. So it's important in these times, in all times, but especially right now to not let these differences divide us from our own humanity. We, you know, it's easy to forget that each individual's well-being contributes to the well-being of the whole. When you help someone heal, understand, or grow, it creates a ripple effect in the circle of influence. Their uplifted energy touches family, friends, colleagues, policies, you know, strangers. So again, like uplifting each other, recognizing the God in each other is going to amplify that light. So in the same way, it's like when we ignore suffering or turn a blind eye, that negativity can spread, as we are seeing right now. As you can help one person feel seen and supported, that person is more likely to pass empathy along. In many spiritual traditions, there's a recognition that we are all one body of a part of a unified field of consciousness. And by practicing that empathy, you strengthen that oneness and reaffirm the idea that none of us journey alone. And one argument against empathy right now is the fear of taking on others' burdens. And it's true that empathy can be intense. Again, I talk about this in the YouTube video that I posted recently. But healthy empathy involves understanding one another's feelings without losing your sense of self. And setting loving boundaries helps maintain that balance. And remember, boundaries are not to keep another person out. Boundaries are for us. It's saying this is what I am and am not going to accept. It doesn't mean controlling what the other person is putting out. It's controlling what you're willing to accept and what you're going to walk away from. And another concern is, you know, when religious figures say like, don't empathize too much. It'll lead you astray. And all of this hate against DEI and all this craziness that's happening right now. And it can be a way of keeping people aligned with certain doctrines rather than letting them forge genuine human connections, which is intentional, right? It's intentional in the systems that are in place. And remember that real faith stands strong even when we open our hearts to others. If anything, it strengthens us. And for me, I mean, I see it is, again, in the teachings of the Ascended Masters, but like, it's a holy practice. Empathy is sacred. Again, it's touching that part, you know, we all have this divine essence. And by trying on the experience of another person, it's connecting your divine essence to their divine essence and going beyond the human condition and connecting that soul, connecting our souls to each other. And that is, you know, sacred. It's not a weakness. It's a gift. And it's a direct line to experiencing that God within each of us. You might notice that empathy is hardest to extend when you strongly disagree with someone. But especially in those moments, empathy can be the bridge that transforms conflict into understanding. And it doesn't mean you agree with them. It doesn't mean you have to agree with them again, but it does mean recognizing their shared humanity. And, you know, a warm smile, a genuine, how are you really doing? These simple gestures can shift someone's entire day. Compassion, it doesn't have to be grand and profound. It's just going beyond the surface and connecting with the soul of someone. And again, I mean, think about times in your own experience, in your own life, when you're like in the grind and head down and doing your thing. And then the cashier at the store is like, takes a moment to really connect with you and not just how you do it today, but like really connect with you. And you can feel the difference between someone saying the words and someone genuinely trying to see you. And I've noticed the same thing. Like sometimes I am kind of just like head down, getting through it, get me out of here. I've been waiting in line. I want to go, you know, but then there's the times when I'm at the cash register or wherever I'm at at school or in whichever situations that I'm in, when I take a moment to pause, to connect with my own divine essence and then express that to another person and genuinely care about them, use their name, ask them like genuinely, how are you? How's your day going? What's your favorite thing that's happened today? You know, or you can see someone's troubled and connecting with that and letting them know that you see them and that you're there for them. It really like, not only does it make them feel better, but it makes you feel better. Like for me, when I really connect with someone, especially like again, you know, someone who's in a service position and I just take a moment to get to know them as a person, it uplifts them, which is going to affect every person that they interact with throughout that day and maybe beyond, but it also uplifts me and it makes me feel like really happy and fun and it makes me love myself more. If you haven't had that experience, I highly recommend that you try it and see what I'm talking about. You know, it's not just a soft skill, it's a spiritual practice and it brings us closer to each other and to our higher power, be it God's source or the divine presence, however you experience that, but that part that truly connects us all, the source that we are from or that from which of which we form a part, right? Sorry, I can't talk today, y'all. It's crazy. If y'all hear crazy things happening, we've got this big old storm, wind is blowing stuff everywhere, things are happening around here, so forgive me, but you know, there's ways that you can check in with yourself. Ask yourself each morning, like where can I show empathy today? And each evening, like how did I practice empathy today? Notice how it will impact your relationships and your own sense of peace. Again, like amplifying the light amplifies the light and we can use all the light we can get right now these days, all the time, but especially right now. I would love to hear from you if you have some examples of empathy and how it's made a difference in your life, but you know, and as you grow in this empathy, remember to keep your healthy boundaries. Remember you can love and care without absorbing everyone's pain, which is a really important part of it. Empathy is really great when you can check in and be like, how does it feel from their experience, but also know that we're not responsible for those feelings, to see them, to understand them, but to not feel the need to fix or change them. We're not responsible for that. That's that person's work, but by seeing and understanding them, it opens up and allows the softness for them to be able to go there, to approach it themselves. You don't have to be you know, LGBTQ to understand that a person would want to be able to express themselves in their lives, in their sex lives, in their homes, in their families, in the way that feels right for them. You don't have to have that experience or know that experience to be able to understand people's right to have that experience. Like, okay, I'm not a black person, but I could put myself in the shoes of what would it feel like to be marginalized everywhere I go? What would it feel like? I mean, I'm a woman, so I do have the experience of having my feelings, my ideas dismissed, having other people take credit for my ideas, being paid less, being treated as less than, and I can amplify that. Like, if I were a black woman, like those feelings already, but then amplified, and the feeling of hopelessness, and lack of ownership of one's body, of one's life, like those are very real. Not for everyone, but it is very real for a lot of people. Like, just being able to try that on, and seeing it. Like, you don't have to be trans to understand that someone has the right to dress, to feel, to speak, to behave in whichever way, or to express themselves in whichever way that feels aligned for them. That's like me saying that, okay, you're straight, and how could you be? Like, obviously, there's a spectrum. Obviously, like, there's a spectrum of sexuality, of gender identity. Like, it's never binary. I mean, don't you know that? I mean, can, I can't believe that you're like, you think that you only like one or the other. Like, that's ridiculous. I mean, that's, that's like how, how it sounds, you know? Like, God doesn't agree with that. Like, that's a sin for you to be straight. Like, oh my God. Like, how shallow, how closed-minded to only want a man, or only want a woman. You know, it's, it's that understanding. Like, how ridiculous does that feel to hear that? That's, that's how it feels for them to know that you are something, to know you, that you are feeling in a way, and then have, having someone dismiss that, and invalidate that. Like, what is that solving? What is that? Like, why do we care, for one, what other people do with their genitals? I don't know. Like, it's like this obsession, but just think about that. Like, that's how to feel the empathy of it, you know? If you really try to say, like, if I were in their position, what would that feel like? What would that look like? And apply that to how you're interacting with other people that you don't understand, or that you don't agree with. We're going to need it, guys. We need it right now. Who knows what's happening next? Who knows what's coming? Who knows what, what we're, we're rolling into? And the more we can feel for each other, you know, the better. Like, I am fortunate to have had a home, you know, until I was at the age of being an adult. There are lots of unfortunate things about my home situation, but there are also people who were kicked out of the house, you know, before they were in double digits. Like, that were so young, and had no place to be and go. So, just because that wasn't my experience, doesn't mean that I can't, like, try to see from their perspective, like, how difficult that must be. Like, what kind of baggage that must come with, and what they would have to fight through to live a better life than, than the hand that they were dealt. That goes with any kind of marginalized group, any kind of situation. We can identify with that person, even if we haven't had that experience. And being able to understand and identify with other experiences outside of our own, it's just, it's necessary. It's what we need to be able to unite, instead of being divided. And there are forces working against our freedom, working against our freedom of expression, our freedom of being, you know, our ability to survive and to thrive in the world, to be fully self-expressed. Like, there are so many forces that are working against that, and the more we unite, the more that we see our commonalities and not our differences, the more that we understand each other's differences, the more powerful that we are. We are more powerful in numbers. That's all there is to it. And the cool thing about, like, okay, say I connect my heart to another person's heart. It doesn't just double. It amplifies exponentially. So when we're connecting to each other, there is a ripple effect that, that multiplies. It compounds. So one plus one doesn't necessarily equal two. Okay, so say one plus one equals four. And then four plus four equals sixteen. This is a weird example, but that's the best way I can say to explain it. Like, we're not dealing with basic, like, human math here. The more light there is, the more light there is. And it just grows and expands. So every little act of kindness, every little act of understanding, trying to see where other people are coming from, again, even if it's different from how you feel, this is, these are the things that we need to get through everything that's happening right now. To get through it together. To understand, you know, other people's customs and cultures and ways of being. They don't have to be the same as ours in order to be valid. And try to try on each other's experience and connect with how that feels. So I hope this was somewhere today. I really didn't know where to talk about. I do have some guests coming up on the pod, but I just didn't even know where to begin today. So I sat in meditation for some minutes and empathy is what came through. So I followed through with it. I hope that you got something from it. Thank you for being here. I love you all. If you haven't checked out my YouTube channel, do it. If you're not following me on social, it's at AuthenticallyMellie. Have a wonderful day. Stay authentic.