Empowering Choices: Thriving Beyond Current Systems and Building a Better Future

In the season two premiere of Leaving the Church to Find God, Melissa Whittington reflects on the transformative power of choice and resilience. Drawing from her personal journey, she explores the importance of building systems rooted in equity and compassion, rather than fighting against oppressive structures.

Melissa candidly discusses the challenges of navigating a post-election landscape, the role of anger as a tool for transformation, and the significance of supporting marginalized communities. She shares actionable insights on creating an empowered and abundant life, while also highlighting the importance of joy, creativity, and community as forms of resistance.

Tune in to discover how we can collectively thrive by aligning our actions with our values, embracing our power, and fostering change from the ground up. Melissa invites listeners to rethink their approach to wealth, influence, and the systems we participate in, offering a vision of hope and empowerment.

Transcript

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Aloha, everybody. Welcome back to the God Pod. I am so happy to have you here. I'm so happy to be back. I am just really, really thrilled to be doing season two of this podcast. We're getting more and more downloads and listens every week. Thank you for that. If you haven't already subscribed to the podcast, please do that wherever you listen to podcasts. It'll help you because you won't miss an episode. It'll help me because it gets it out there and other people get this information and get to have these conversations and to be included in this whole situation. So forgive me if I sound a little tired. I was using a new system to record this and I thought I was recording the whole time and I just did this episode only to discover it was never recording. So here we go. Maybe that'll help me get through it quicker. But a little life update, just finished. Actually, today is the last day of this final semester. College has gone great. It has been an amazing experience. I am taking more amazing classes next semester. Really looking forward to it. I've met really great people. It's just been a very enriching experience. And it's interesting because I like took this storytelling and creative media class. And it's funny how when you're doing things that are enriching you, you know that it's enriching you, but you don't really see the results. But we just did our final presentation and I really, really stepped out there and did a monologue that was very personal and intense and emotional. And I was going to do something simple and easy. A friend of mine encouraged me to go deep and do me. So I did. And it was really great. And it showed me how much that class really has expanded me and allowed me to step more into my voice. So yeah, I appreciate it. And just understanding that life is a series of choices. And when we want different results, we have to make different choices. If we want something new, we make new choices. And that's what's been done. And it's been crazy, y'all. It's been crazy. I haven't seen y'all in a couple of months. It's been crazy. Things have happened. Unfortunately, we did not get the election result that we were hoping for, but I got a lot to say about that. So it was, at the beginning, I don't know, it was a bit of a wake-up call. It's like, I feel like this country has been like an abusive husband. I just keep expecting that it'll change. And if I do my part, and then he'll change and wake up and heal and get better. This was a huge wake-up call that that's just not going to happen. And this came to me during the whole fire relief effort, and it's just really been showing up more and more, which is that we cannot change the system that is built on a foundation of hate and murder and colonization, that we have to build the system we want to see. And the more we build something that benefits everyone, the more people get behind that. And then those other systems become obsolete. So be the change, my friends, be the change. Yeah, it was a big wake-up call. It was like, wow, I am appalled even in this day and age that so many people would choose a rapist to run our country and what that means for women and girls and just for our marginalized communities. It's just a lot. It's a lot. And so the first day I was feeling really dissociated, I also noticed this very strange calmness. I'm like, I don't know how I feel so calm, but I'm feeling calm and I'm going to trust that. I know how to alchemize pain. I know how to alchemize difficulty. I know what to do with whatever's coming. I really feel like I was built for whatever's coming. I've always had this knowing that I was made for a revolution. And the next day after the election, I was talking to a who was like, well, the revolution has to start somehow. And unfortunately it usually takes a breakdown to get to that breakthrough. We would have to hit rock bottom to make real change. And so I'm just hoping that our rock bottom is close by. It doesn't have to get too much worse, but either way, we were old punches. We'll make it. We're going to be okay. So I channeled this information just a few days after the election on how do we move forward? How do we do this? I personally have just unplugged from the news cycles. I'm not putting my head in the sand by any means. I'm just not letting our media influence how I feel and how I'm moving through the world. I don't want to remain in this state of reacting. I feel like it's been several years now. I've been glued to what's the terrible thing that's going to happen next. And I can't do another four years of it. It is not good for my spirit and I'm not going to do it. So I am staying active. There's a group called Surge. It's standing up for racial justice that I find really helpful. There's other activist groups. I am maintaining my connection with them, but I've really just like stepped out of all the news. So I'm creating the world that I want to live in. I'm creating my reality by choosing what I take in and what I react to and where I'm tuning in. No, that doesn't make the bad stuff disappear, but it keeps me strong and clear so that I am able to move when needed in the ways that are needed. And somebody that we can really learn a lot from in this is Black women. Solidarity with our marginalized communities in general, but listen to Black women. They have been telling us this, this country ain't going to change. We've got to live our lives. We've got to live good lives and do the work that we can do to make a difference while we're at it. But again, it goes back to building the systems that we want, instead of trying to change the ones that already exist. Because trying to change these systems that are so ingrained in our foundations, it just wastes our energy. It just sucks up our time and energy and this resistance just pushing against, pushing against. But instead we can channel that time and energy into building what we want to see. Taking a stand against the hate and the division and building alliances with our community and with these marginalized voices goes to supporting women-owned businesses, supporting businesses owned by people of color. Just really voting with your dollars, putting your money where your mouth is. So many of these big companies support these PACs and these people who get into office and are just wreaking more and more havoc. So pay attention to where your goes to. I'm not going to tell anybody not to use Amazon. I still use it occasionally. I'm out here in the middle of the Pacific, so sometimes it's the only way to get what I need. But any chance I have to get it, otherwise I'll pay more for something if it means it's coming from a source that I feel good about supporting. And I know that's not always something that we're able to do. Sometimes it means me making the choice of just not getting something. But everywhere that I can, I make the choice to support the people who I want to see rise. And I encourage you to do the same. One big thing that came to me was identifying who our safe men are. Men, if you're on here, it's likely that you're one of them. Thank you. You're appreciated. But recognizing, and this goes for you too, not just women, but recognizing who the safe are in your life. And the way to do that is by encouraging open conversations about patriarchy and observe their reactions to it. If they're dismissive or defensive, those are good things to take note of. We need to build space between ourselves and unsafe men by continuing to sugarcoat them and speak for them and clean up their messes. Not only is it extremely codependent, but it also is enabling. It's enabling this patriarchal dynamic to continue. And as uncomfortable as it is, it's important to get honest with ourselves about who we can and cannot trust to protect and to look out for our wellbeing. And I feel like if you have men in your life who voted for a rapist, just because they didn't want to vote for a woman, that that's a lot of information. And to take that information seriously and act according to what feels right to your human. But who knows what's going to happen? I try not to be apocalyptic or be catastrophic, but I'm also realistic and who knows what's coming. I know that a lot of men have already felt emboldened by this recent choice. And when women are already not believed in so many instances of sexual assault, to have someone who's been convicted and accused so many times be in charge of our entire country, it just really emboldens those abusers. So it's important to know who our safe men are and who our safe men aren't. And again, to create space between those who aren't and ourselves. Another big thing is I've always had this knowing that shit can hit the fan and that I need to be ready for it. It probably has a lot to do with revelations and growing up in the church and the end times and all of this craziness. Who knows? But I've always envisioned it as this fighting in the trenches thing. But what I'm realizing now is that it's not like these battles are going to be won with resources by being well-resourced. Wealth allows us to build the lives that we want to see. It allows us the freedom to not participate in systems that we don't want to perpetuate. It allows us the freedom and the resources to help others. If someone else is in need or needs to move across the country or whatever's coming up, the more resourced we are, the more power we have. Unfortunately, it is the way that it is. We are in a capitalistic society and resources are important. It's important for us to open our receiving channels, to allow the receiving to come in without guilt or shame, but to allow all of the abundance that is waiting for us to come in. The Divine Feminine has all of this resource that wants to come into use and come into power. By opening ourselves up to those resources, we really allow for more powerful change, more reach, more access. It's also important to build your community resources, to know who your safe people are, who's going to stand with you in a difficult situation, who you can build together with and create things when needed and react in a way that benefits everyone. Knowing who your community is and what are your resources within that community, what resources can you offer to the community and which ones can you receive from when needed. Plugging energy leaks that you have, saying no to things that feel constricting and saying yes to things that feel expansive, moving towards what's going to add to our abundance and add to our resources and moving away from the things that are going to deplete them. Understanding and practicing the balancing between giving and receiving. We are conditioned, especially women, to give, give, give, give, give, and we're giving and giving, but we're not receiving. We need to be able to receive in order to continue to give. Our cup needs to overflow. What does it mean to have a full cup? Define that for yourself. What do you need for your cup to overflow? Then once your cup's overflowing, the giving becomes a natural byproduct of that. By identifying what's expansive, what's constricting, where are my resources? How can I use my resources? I've had Botox. Do what you want to do with your face, with your body. There's no shame in any of that. If you have an abundance of resources and you want to spend them in that way, you go right ahead. But girl, if you're not paying your bills or you're not getting your stuff done because you need to get Botox or the designer bag or $300 worth of makeup every month, I'm not here to shame you, but I'm just going to say that those resources will be much better used in creating freedom and safety for yourself and having a savings and home ownership, if that's even a possibility and owning, you know, having things paid and having leverage, having credits leverage, like having resources are going to be more helpful for you right now. If shit does hit the fan, then not having wrinkles in your forehead. Just going to leave that there. Do with it what you will. Embracing our anger. Our anger is valid. It is a transformative force. Anger is there to show us what is unjust, what we want to change, what is not right, and who we want to move away from. Our anger is a powerful piece of information. All of our emotions are information. Embracing that anger, understanding there's a reason why we're angry. There's plenty of reason to be angry right now. And using that anger as a transformative force, instead of trying to fight against what is, channeling it into creating again, what you want to see. That's going to be a recurring theme because it's so important. It's like, don't resist, like create, create what you want to see. And your anger is real. Feel it, scream it. Right after, just a few days after the election on a Friday, I had breath work and there was so much coming through. And I, there was a moment when the teacher who's amazing, Sarah Rothman, she invited us to scream, to just let everything out. And I dug deep within my bones and just let it all out in the biggest scream of my entire life. It was so powerful. It was so big. It was all of it. And I did not worry about other people in the room. I did not worry about anything. I just let it out. And when I did like literally my physical body moved, like energy moved through my body and it moved me. Like I felt it was such an extremely powerful move of energy. And that just confirms like we do hold these things in our body and you've got to embrace that anger and let it out. And don't store it inside of us because it will just erode and eat us, eat away at our power. And to not be ashamed of it because it's there for a reason. And what we do with it is what matters. Are you going to take it out on people who are weaker or take it out in situations that are destructive? Or are you going to use it in a way that's constructive? Either way, the anger is there. So just own it and use it for your benefit. Use it for the benefit of humanity. And you know, there's some fun in this guys. Like reclaiming joy is our biggest form of resistance, resting and being in joy. So creative expression, whether that's writing, like I said, I wrote a monologue recently that was just like, it was emotionally charged, but gosh, I can't tell you how empowering and transformative it was not to just write it, but to perform it in public in front of people that don't know that well. It was intense, but also like creative expression is so healing. It's healing for us. It's healing for others. So creating, you know, it's a necessity. It's not a luxury. It should be way high up on our priority list. Not just like what we'll do when we have extra time, because you know what? We don't have extra time. There's always going to be something to fill that time. So prioritizing your creativity, if that means dancing, singing, making art, writing, you know, whatever outlets you like to use for creativity, use them. If you don't know where to start, just start somewhere. Like get some crayons out, literally just get some crayons out and make a cute little picture because creativity begets creativity. The more you create, the more you create. So when you do create, it opens something up in you and it inspires other creation. And the more you listen to that, and the more you follow it, like you're not going to run out of ideas. They'll just keep coming and coming and coming and they get better and better, which is amazing. But what you're creating doesn't have to be to be shared. It doesn't have to be beautiful. It doesn't have to make any sense. Just start creating, let that part of you come out. And the more you do, the more you will cultivate it, the more it will become a stronger part of you and who you are and how you live, which is amazing. Joy is resistance. Be in your joy. Have some freaking fun already. Enjoy your life. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but we can enjoy today. And the more joy we've expressed, the more joy we've built, the easier it is to get through the difficult times. So cultivating that joy in every way, like playing, literally playing games, playing silly games, playing with your friends, being silly, whatever feels joyful to you, do it. For me, a big way I do that is through movement and through dance. Sometimes the movements are just crazy, shaking my hands, jumping up and down, crazy movements. And sometimes I'm dancing, moving my hips. It is our birthright as humans to dance. If you have traveled outside of the Western world, you'll know that like so many cultures, especially those that are still closer to their indigenous roots, dance. They dance in the streets. They dance in the house. They move their bodies and it is joyful. It's beautiful. It moves energy. So I encourage you to do that. Like find ways to move your body, to express, to move those wounds, release those patriarchal wounds, release the shame, release the holding back and just let it out through your physical expression. Another way to do that outside of just joyful movement is just movement. When you're feeling anger, when you're feeling energy that's stuck in your body, like I know I like to go for a really long walk, like one that'll kind of push myself, you know, a few miles, like beyond my regular limits or something that'll make me feel a little exhausted because it's just like moving that energy out of my body. It's so helpful. And again, talking about those who are originally marginalized. Black women have been marginalized through the society for so long. Nature has been marginalized through society after society after society. It has seen us come and go. The changes that have happened, the extinctions and rebirth, nature continues to rise. It continues to create beauty. It continues to just be, to thrive, to flourish. And observing that, mirroring that, but also connecting to nature is so important in all of this. Just go outside, get your feet on the ground, recharge, sit by a tree, let nature speak to you. And all of that is going to really help you to heal and to move energy and to transform these heavy emotions. You can even like bring up all the heavy stuff that you don't want to carry and put your hands on the earth and send it down into the earth and let the earth compost that, move it and change it and alchemize it for you and grow something beautiful. That's the way it works. We can observe that example and learn from it and emulate it in our own lives, but we can also enjoy it and appreciate it and use it in a tactile way to feel better. If you're feeling bad, go outside for five minutes. Just go give yourself five minutes. You'll probably end up taking more because you're actually going to enjoy it. But if nothing else, just give yourself five minutes to go breathe some fresh air and look up at the sky and look up at the trees and touch some things that are alive and appreciate some nature. I promise you, it will help. Empowering our projections, focusing on building a world of empowerment and abundance, shifting from this victimhood to revolution through creation and expression. I can't stress enough how important it is. If we're going to visualize, let our visualizations be empowered. My mind wants so badly to go into the doom and the gloom and the worst case scenario of this handmaid's tale that we're living in, but we create what we envision. Our brains, our bodies are programmed to create what we're visualizing, what we're feeling. So empower your projections. Instead of visualizing the worst case scenario, visualize the revolution that you want to see. Visualize the new systems and the flourishing of all of humanity and nature and everything that lives. Visualize what you want to see. Use your projections in a way that are going to help and not hurt. Using your power for change. If you have wealth, if you have influence in any way, those could be used as tools for systemic rebuilding. I am hesitant to say systemic change. I guess by change, I would say moving from one system to the other, because again, I don't feel like fighting against our systems is the answer, but creating new ones. So using your wealth and influence as tools for that is very important. If you are already well-resourced, let that be a blessing. Let that be something that you have as a benefit that you can help humanity. Again, supporting women, supporting women-owned businesses, supporting women's dreams, lifting each other up through intentional spending and support. Put your money where your mouth is. If you want to see change, spend your money on change. Spend your money uplifting the things that you want more of and taking it away from the things that you want less of. It's that simple. Alchemizing the pain. I talk so much about alchemy, and that's the thing is we're going to have pain and challenges in life. It's always going to happen. That's part of life. And living a life with alchemy is one where you take all of that and you turn it into beauty and into power. So when things are happening that make you feel helpless or that feel awful, we have a choice. We can let it bring us down and suck us into this riptide that is trying to drown us all, or we can use that as wisdom and learn from it and correct our course and create different results. We can choose what we're going to do. You can make art with it. You can alchemize your pain, alchemize your fear and turn it into something useful or something enjoyable. It is useful if it's enjoyable, but outside of being productive, you get to choose what you do with it. We all get to choose what we do with what we're given. And so I just really want to highlight, again, the resilience and power of humanity, of women, of all of us. When you put all the minorities together, we become the majority. And so by unifying towards a common goal, which is to lift up all living things or whatever that goal is for you, unity is in the answer. Finding it against each other and pointing out each other's differences is not going to get us anywhere. But understanding how we are more the same than different and really working with that sameness to create a shared vision of the future. There is a collective awakening happening. And I know it feels like we just took a hundred steps backwards or however many it feels for you. But again, the breakdown often happens before the breakthrough. And I'm considering this just part of the breakdown and part of what's necessary to birth the new earth, the new future that we want to be a part of, that we want to live in. And things may get harder before they get better. But already, just in the news and things that have been changing, people are waking up. There is an awakening happening. And a lot of times before things run out, you get that last sputter of energy or sputter of gas or whatever's happening. You just get that last like all over. And I feel like that's what this is, the patriarchy and the white supremacy and all of these oppressive evangelicalism, all these oppressive powers that be organized religion in general. It's kind of like the last stand. It's all ugly and coming out right now. But I truly believe this is part of the awakening and the empowerment of humanity. And this is my message for all of us ladies out there. We can thrive independently of these patriarchal systems. Again, our life is a series of choices and every choice that we make moves us closer to or further away from where our soul longs to be. And we can decide with every relationship that we're in, with every purchase that we make, with every sister that we choose to uplift instead of tear down, with every bit of gossip that we forego in order to encourage. There's just so many ways that we can thrive independently of these systems by being healthy, nourishing ourselves and not starving ourselves, trying to fit into a mold, by creating, being beautiful, being soft, allow your femininity to flourish. These are all ways that work independently of these systems. And I encourage you to embrace them. So I hope you all got something out of this. Thank you for being here. Thanks for coming back for season two. Next week, we've got a really great guest. Actually, I'll probably skip it next week because of Christmas. The following week, we've got a really great guest, David Hulse from the Academy of Spiritual Awakening. Such an amazing light worker, human being, also raised in the evangelical church, but just a whole different story. It was so expensive. I got so much out of this conversation and I know that you will too. So I hope you'll come back and join me. If you're not already subscribed, do that now. Leave me a five-star review. Every bit of support that you offer helps this to keep happening. So thank you again for here. I love you all. Happy holidays. Have a wonderful day. Aloha and stay authentic.